Really, Whose Birthday Is it?

Today is Karin's (my daughter) birthday. She can’t possibly be as old as she says she is because then that would make me 22 years older than her! Oh right, I am 22 years older than her. So now if we can just lower her age by a decade, hmmm..maybe a little more.

 We celebrated both Karin and my son, Kenny’s birthday together on Sunday. No, it wasn’t really their birthday then but we always pick a date close to their birthday on a weekend. I do know their real birthdates - Karin is Feb 13 and Kenny is Feb 15.

Unlike Lucy, (refer back to my  10/22/12 blog about the shopping online), who sometimes gets things confused. Although Lucy had a list a mile long of things to accomplish at home Monday night, she is out shopping. Yes shopping for just the right gift for that special person she works with. You know, the one who always brings food into work to feed Lucy, the one who is always there to help Lucy out of sticky situations. You just have to remember her birthday right? And what’s a gift amongst friends like that?

So Lucy, unbeknownst to her family, is rushing between stores, searching frantically for that item that will shine prettier than a new penny. Somewhere is that one thing that will change her co-worker’s life. Something her co-worker couldn’t do without. Okay, instead of co-worker, let’s call her Ethel. Ethel is worth all this nerve-wracking running around, digging through piles of treasures at each store.

“No, that’s not it…close, but just not the right item. I’ll go over to the store across the street. They might have just the right color or size,” Lucy mumbles as people near her gaze, mouths open, at this woman talking to herself. Lucy gets in her car and drives like a crazy woman through parking lot, her car smacking a buggy, which screeches down the side of the car. “Another scratch! Desi’s not going to be happy about that.”

Open car door, grab purse, slam door, try to run toward store entrance. Stuck. What the heck? Crap! My coat is stuck in the car door. Where did I put my keys? That’s right, in my coat pocket, same side that is stuck in the car door. Leaning in opposite direction, Lucy gets her fingers down in the pocket to retrieve the keys. There, I’ve got ahold of one of them. Pulling, pulling, ***, they slid back down into the pocket. She pushes her fingers down as far as possible and yanks. “Got them! Well, now I have to sew my coat pocket that I just ripped.”

Inside the store: “Hmmmm…nothing. I’ll grab this in case I don’t find what I’m looking for. What am I looking for anyway? I have no real idea what to get this wonderful woman who makes my work life seem like Heaven. I have to come up with something exspectacular! She’s worth it.

Next store, Lucy knocks over the clerk in her haste. “Excuse me. Sorry,” she says as she grabs the clerk’s  hand and yanks her to an upright position. Lucy bumps into a display and there sits that thing. It’s shiny, its bright. She has to have it. At the cash register, Lucy starts wondering if Ethel already has one of these. “Maybe she does. I’ll go to the next store and see if I can find something else to go with it just in case.”

Lucy rushes from one store to another, finally coming up with a few small tokens to put together as a nice birthday gift for Ethel. Hurry home. “I have to bake her a cake. A nice cake. A special one. I’ll do snack cakes. Lots of small individual snack cakes. Maybe she’ll give me one to eat.”

The oven warms up the house and the smell of freshly baked cakes fills it with the aroma of chocolate. Divine! Heavenly! Just what Ethel deserves. The icing goes on the snack cakes with care, then packaged nicely.

Next morning, Lucy wakes up. She gathers all her gifts, shoves them in a bag. Next she grabs the snack cakes and puts them in the back seat of her car. On the way to work, she decides that Ethel deserves to have breakfast at her desk (can’t do the breakfast in bed thing with Ethel because she is already at work). Lucy peels her tires as she pulls into the Subway. She pushes her way through the line, already running late. Hurry she thinks as the clerk makes her breakfast for Ethel. She throws money at the clerk, coins dropping to the floor. She hurries out to her car. The Subway bag is thrown onto the front seat, then Lucy’s purse. Smash. The Subway bag is now under her purse, heavy enough to be considered a lethal weapon.

The clock now says Lucy is late. She rushes into work, runs into Ethel’s office, dumps the gift packages on her desk. Next she drops some empty canning jars on Ethel’s desk (the ones Ethel gave Lucy with tomatoes from her garden). Lucy has been meaning to return them for months. Finally, the Subway bag gets plopped on Ethel’s desk.

Ethel’s eyes are big as saucers as she pushes back away from her desk, trying not to get hurt by any flying debris. “What’s all this?”

“Wait,” Lucy says and runs out of the building.  She sets the snack cakes precariously on Ethel’s desk and smiles. “Happy Birthday, Ethel!”

“What do you mean? It’s not my birthday.”

“Yes it is. I got you this stuff for your birthday.”

“No it’s not. I think I know when my birthday is,” Ethel says.

In walks the boss. He sees that Lucy is late and sees all the commotion. “It’s not her birthday, Lucy,” he says.

“Well, my calendar said it was Ethel’s birthday. Are you sure today is not your birthday?” she asks.

“I’m sure. Thank you anyway,” Ethel says.

Lucy goes to her own desk and does some research. Hmmm….”Ethel’s birthday,” the calendar says. She goes through some personnel files and realize it was Ethel who left four years ago who has a birthday today.

Before leaving work, Lucy swipes one of the gifts back from Ethel’s desk. “I’ll give this to her in May when it really is her birthday,” Lucy says on her way out. She has chocolate icing from the snack cake hanging from her coat sleeve, her pocket is hanging by threads, and she never did get a piece of the cake.