Primal Fear

I was just settling down to do a crossword puzzle in People Magazine. I tore out the page with the perforated edge that was just before the puzzle page. In doing so, the page behind the puzzle also came out. Both were of a stiffer paper, some kind of advertisement, and I knew they would be in the way of keeping the magazine open flat while doing the puzzle. I'm not a big crossword fan by any means but out of boredom after eating my lunch I decided to give it a try, not caring whether I finished it.

Then I heard two male voices. "This is some kind of conference room. Doesn't look like much in here."

I froze. Listened. They were looking around and didn't belong here.

I moved myself up against the wall beside the fridge. All I had was a blue Bic pen. I tried to stay as still and quiet as possible, hoping they wouldn't look in this room. The door to the lunchroom comes from the conference room and was open. The light was on in here.

I could feel my body withdrawing inside of itself, trying to make me as small and quiet as possible. It was as if the inside of my body was a sponge sucking in every possible fluid, fiber, breath and muscle. I dared not move, tried to remain ready. My hand was held upward, close to my body, gripping the pen as tight as I could, ready to attack if I'm spotted.

I said a silent prayer. "Dear God, don't let them find me. Keep me safe."

I knew I was so vulnerable. My entire being was full of fear. I wasn't sure if I was ready to protect myself or too scared to move.

My prayer was answered. I was nearly awake, could hear my husband snoring, yet were those voices I was hearing in the hall outside our bedroom door? I lay in the bed listening, not moving.

Only snores. I can exhale. It was a dream.