Sunday, September 11, 2016

It's Not All About You!!

Wow! That's an eye opener statement.
Has anyone ever told you that?
Better yet, have you ever taken the time to say that to yourself or to just realize the truth in that statement?
I started attending a class at church about rejection. It is based on the book, "Uninvited" by Lysa TerKeurst. 
In Chapter 3, Lysa tells a story about a woman at the gym who hates her. Lysa gave many reasons why this woman hated her, i.e., Lysa stepped into this woman's space when she got on the elliptical next to the woman, she tried to stay in sync with the woman's motion, trying to keep up with her, and then, Lysa took a phone call while working on the elliptical next to this woman.
The woman finally had enough and left the elliptical and went to the treadmill instead.
Lysa carried the thought in her head that this well-toned woman hated her for what she had done.
One day, she saw the woman at the gym and the woman smiled at Lysa, as if she recognized or knew her. Or maybe she was saying to Lysa, "Good job coming to the gym today. I have seen you here before."
Lysa then realized that all the hate and rejection she had assigned coming from this woman was only her "perceived rejection" conjured up and running in her head.
So you see,
 It is Not All About You!
I have been in positions where I think I am doing something nice for someone or for a cause. I remember making suggestions at my past job for things that I felt would help the company. My boss would say something like, "That's a great idea!" and then dismiss me.
I would walk away feeling like I had added something of value to the company. I would wait to see if the idea was implemented. Most times nothing came of them. Sometimes they were but someone else got the credit. I made the suggestions to help the company but felt left out or ignored when the ideas were not used.
Maybe they were great ideas but the timing was off or the company didn't have the time or resources to pull them off.
So really,
It is Not All About You!
One morning, in the midst of a conversation about all the stress my husband was going through, I interjected my thoughts, analysis and solutions as I perceived it.
My husband stopped talking and said, "This is not about you!"
He explained that sometimes a person just wants to talk, let off steam, and have someone listen. He didn't want my "I know what you should do and say" opinion.
I realized then,
It is Not all About You!!
In trying to be a good friend, when she has a problem, I feel I have to offer a solution. What do I know? I am not living through what she is.
Sometimes all my friend wants is an ear. Guess what?
It Is Not All About You!